Battle of the bands
by Random801
Summary: In this alternate universe, Luffy, Ace and Sabo are three brothers in a band 'ASL (The crew)'. They are on a journey to surpass the late over-famed music god 'Gol .D. Roger', although there are other bands which have the same goal. So much drama, humor, angst and MUSIC! PS. Every straw hat is present. Thumbs up *Manager Nami*.
1. Meet 'the crew' (ASL)

_"__Power, fame and wealth. All these belonged to the greatest musician that ever lived. The Golden Roger (Gol .D. Roger). A man who acquired everything a person could ever dream of having. '__**The musical legend'**__, '__**the music god',**__**'the king'**__, he was known by as many names as people could come up with. He is now looked up to by many aspiring legends that refer to him as the '__**father of music'**__. Every one of them wants to have what he had, feel what and how he felt at the top. Most people who took it upon themselves to surpass him either were looked down upon or simply lost interest as they discover that the journey to the top is not an easy one. Nevertheless, in this new generation of artists and musicians we are looking forward to an epic battle to the top as the few musicians who have taken it upon themselves to surpass him have once again made their name known. These brave artists are, Warlord entertainments __**'Buggy and the clowns'**__ (for some reason), Blackbeard __**'I, Blackbeard'**__, Grand line works __**'Kidd'**__ and Red-haired productions __**'the crew'**__._

_These famous names listed above aren't surprising; in fact, they were very expected, well besides one or two. These four musicians are going to be the cause of the greatest music battle yet, if not the greatest the world will ever come to know."_

- _Mister three._

Luffy sighed contently after reading out the article to the two boys and the orange-haired girl in the room. "Shishishishishi… We were mentioned in the paper."

"AAAAAAHHHH! Luffy can read!"

**ONE WEEK EARLIER **

"Hey Boys!" The orange-haired girl yelled from the door. "Show time." She said with a bright grin on her face.

"You're way too excited for this." The blonde boy spoke drily, relaxing on a long sofa.

"That's because I'm one step closer to having over 500,000 million bellies in my account." She said with a bigger grin.

"Her eyes turned to bellies." A skinny raven-haired young boy stated.

"Money-hugger." Another raven-haired well built boy simply said, although he was half asleep."

The girl snorted, "Call me whatever you like, Ace." She walked into the room; "This band is making it today, because of me."

"Why not?" Ace and the blonde boy both murmured, sarcastically.

"Sabo!" The girl called out to the blonde boy, "Why are you mourning with these lazy Asses? You're meant to be the almost normal one."

"Oi! Nami…" the skinny raven called tiredly, "I'm hungry."

"Didn't you just eat half the buffet before coming here, Luffy?" She asked, obviously getting annoyed.

"You didn't let me finish, Nami." He argued.

"You were going to eat everything including the table." She snapped.

"But it's called an all-you-can-eat-buffet, isn't it?" He continued.

Feeling her eyebrow twitch uncontrollably, she snapped again, "That doesn't mean you should eat everything. Even Ace for the first time ever didn't eat as much."

"Oi." Ace called drily from the sofa he had sunk himself into, "Don't underestimate me. I just fell asleep."

Both Nami and Sabo shook their heads in unison.

"And here I was thinking you were going to say something meaningful." Nami said, rubbing her index finger on her head.

"As if." Sabo plainly replied.

"OI!" Luffy screamed then smiled when he got everyone's angry look attention, "I'm still hungry."

Nami sighed in defeat; "You're not going up that stage without eating, are you?"

"Nope." He said plainly before getting a heavy punch on his head from Nami.

"Why can't you even act a bit sorry?" she screamed at him before stomping out the room.

"That's his celebrity head." Sabo murmured dully to Nami as she left the room.

"Ow." Luffy rubbed his head, "Why is she so angry?"

Ace snorted, "What an aggressive woman." He said with his eyes closed.

Sabo stared at the ceiling, "You two are going to be the reason this band would see its quick end."

"Huh?" Luffy looked at Sabo confused.

"You are well aware that you're also spreading the aura of laziness right now, right?" Ace asked Sabo.

Sabo made a disapproving sound, "nevertheless, I still have hope."

Ace chuckled lightly, "True that."

Luffy looked at the both of them, "Huh?"


	2. Brook-sama?

The crowd was going crazy. There were screams and roars all over the hall as the crowd saw the familiar host coming up the stage. He walked with pride and smiled brightly as his presence alone was stirring up the crowd.

He cleared his throat quietly before talking into the microphone, "Hello everyone!" he exclaimed loudly. Putting his hand behind his ears he happily took in the loud comments coming from the audience, 'Usopp!' 'We love you!' 'You're the best!' 'You're the man Usopp!'

Clearing his throat one more time, he yelled into the microphone, "Who's the best?"

"You are!" Came the loud response.

"Who's always on fire?" he asked again.

"Usopp!" The audience screamed back.

"Who's better than the best?"

"Usopp!"

Standing behind the curtain, Nami slapped her forehead lightly, "Could he be any more vain?"

"We don't want to hear that coming from you." Sabo said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear.

"What was that?" Nami gave him a death glare, making the blonde boy turn red in the face.

"Who does everyone look up to?" Usopp screamed loudly, turning their attention back to the fact that the vain-liar was still on stage.

"Usopp-sama!" The audience, obviously not tired of his vainglory replied.

Usopp chuckled to himself, "Good. Good." He nodded, smiling at the crowd. "Anyway…" he started, "Enough of me…for now." He laughed, making Nami roll her eyes more than she thought she could.

"It's time for our soon-to-be music gods, the greatest teenage band of our generation, the only band that can stand before 'the golden roger'…our one and only ASL (the crew)!" He screamed, but got louder responses from the crowd.

"Yes! Yes! Give it up for the band of our generation!" He yelled again, getting even louder responses. He grinned widely at himself and the audience before stepping down as the massive curtains rose up.

The audience screamed as they stared at the boys in front of them and took in all of their features. The oldest brother 'Ace', the raven-haired hottie, The younger of the three 'Sabo', the blonde genius and the youngest by three years 'Luffy', the absolute cuttie.

The three boys took their places on the stage, with Sabo taking the lead, which rarely happens, but whenever it did, fans went crazier than usual. Taking the electric guitar was Ace, while Luffy sat by the drums, grinning like an idiot.

Sabo smiled at the audience filling himself up with the cheers and words of praises coming from here and there.

"OI!" Sabo called out to the audience who speedily increased their volume.

"You ready?" He called out once again. The air was full of various forms of answers and compliments.

"Hmm" Sabo turned to look at a laughing Luffy and a smiling Ace. "Let's rock!" He screamed at both the boys and the audience, immediately an edgy guitar strumming from Ace took them away.

AFTER THE 45 MINUTE SHOW…

"Yey!" Nami ran to hug all three of them at once before quickly retracting, "Ew. You're sweaty."

"You don't say." Ace said, taking the guitar off him, but smiling nevertheless.

"You're always too excited, Nami" Luffy said puzzled at her Belli-shaped eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she sang, twirling around. "The concert was a full house, which means success, which means more money for me. ME and only-what?" She looked confused at the two older boys who were giving her a death-glare.

"What's wrong?" Luffy asked his brothers, mirroring Nami's confused look.

"BAKA!" They both chorused, pounding Luffy's head down to the ground.

"I'm fwory." He managed to say while counting stars.

"You just keep using us for your own good, Nami." Ace accused.

"I thought we already knew that." Luffy said, trying to get up, but failed as another knock from Ace sent him down.

"As I was saying, you keep using us for your own benefits." Ace continued with Nami.

"You already said that." Nami said, crossing her arms and looking away from him, almost innocently.

""You don't even put much money and effort in our well-being."

Nami snorted, "You can't prove that."

Ace grumbled some words and fumbled for the next thing to say, but eventually gave up and pushed Sabo forward, "Sabo, prove it."

Sabo looked at Ace, wondering, "Why me?"

"I don't know. You seem to be the smartest." Ace argued.

"Well, I don't want to." Sabo stated.

"But you have to." Ace replied.

"Why can't Luffy do it?" Sabo questioned, angrily.

"Because he's Luffy."

"But he-" Sabo thought for a few seconds, "Ok, you're right, but-"

"I can do it." Luffy obliged from the floor.

"NEVER." They chorused.

"But I want to. Why can't I?" Luffy jumped up the floor angrily.

"Because you're Luffy!" Sabo answered.

"No. You guys are just being stingy." Luffy argued confidently.

Nami sighed, slowly shaking her head at the three boys who were being _'Immature? Stupid? Annoying? Hmm…" _She thought to herself. Nope, it was just the boys being themselves.

She was already walking away when a familiar laughter stopped her.

"Yohohohohoho!"

The three boys immediately stopped as they also heard the very familiar laugh. They turned around to see one of the world's greatest legends, one of the few men who were talented enough to sing side by side with 'The Golden Roger'.

"Brook-sama?" They all chorused, their eyes bulging out.


	3. The legend's friend's nephew!

"Yohohohohoho!" The really long skeleton screamed and twirled around wearing a huge grin.

"It's him! It's really him! I would know that laugh anywhere!" Luffy said, his eyes sparkling. Ace and Sabo dumbly nodded, agreeing with him.

Nami closed her mouth that has been open for quite a while before slowly walking up to the skeleton, "Are you really-"

"Yes. As a matter of fact I'm just 'dead bones' Brook. Yohohohohoho!" He twirled around then stopped after a few seconds, adjusting his bow tie, cleaning his shoes and putting his Afro in place, he walked closer to Nami, "Now beautiful lady, would you show me your panties?"

"Sure I-huh?" she cocked a brow at the smiling skeleton before punching him straight into the ground, "You perverted skeleton!" she screamed.

"Whoa!" The three boys gazes followed the harsh orange-haired to the poor legendary skeleton on the floor.

"She's really aggressive." Ace said, mostly to himself.

"Mmhmm." Sabo quietly agreed.

Nami snorted, ignoring the questioning looks she was getting from the three boys. Putting her nose in the air, she started walking away, "If you boys need me, I'll be in my dressing room…" She paused, "and beat some more manners into that legend." She said, finally walking away.

"Yohohohohoho! What a cruel beauty!" The legend sprang up from the floor.

"You're soooo cool!" Luffy's eyes didn't stop sparkling.

"I can't believe that we're standing in front of a legend." Sabo said, his eyes shone as bright as Luffy's.

"Hmm…" Ace thought, "surprising and cool." He stated calmly before turning to Sabo, "Hey."

"What?" Sabo turned to face Ace, his eyes still sparkling.

"Did Nami just say that she'd be in her _dressing room_?" Ace asked, his face getting darker.

Sabo's eyes automatically went back to normal, "come to think of it, she did say _her dressing room_."

Sabo and Ace thought deeply.

"Hmm…" Sabo started, "we have only three dressing rooms present."

Ace thought deeper, "one for each of us."

Sabo continued, "And since we are three, the dressing rooms are meant to be completely occupied."

"So, why does she have a dressing room?" Ace rubbed his head.

"Why does she need one though?" Sabo thought to himself.

"She kicked me out of mine to keep all the money she would never let us have." Luffy surprisingly answered.

The older two turned to face themselves knowing fully well that their idiot little brother had said that with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"You're staying with Luffy!" They both chorused at each other and fell silent with a frown, knowing that Luffy would end up sneaking into any room he feels like.

"If I may?" A voice from behind interrupted them, reminding them that the Legend whom had been completely forgotten about was still standing there. They all cocked their head to the side, giving the skeleton a questioning look.

"I would like to stay with you as I have no place to sleep."

"Damn, he get's straight to the point." Ace raised a brow at Sabo.

"Sure." Luffy said a little too quickly, immediately getting two direct blows on his head.

"You don't decide that." Ace glared at the young boy with two bumps on his head.

"I'm sorry." Luffy said, holding his head in pain.

Sabo turned to face the smiling legend, "What do you mean by 'you have no place to sleep'?"

Brook cleared his throat, "As you see, I was wildly popular back then and I thought I had been completely washed out, so I got in my car and was going on a cruise when I was terribly attacked by some robbers who told me that they knew who I was and how rich they would get if they sold my bones…" He paused to catch his breath, looking at the two older boys who were staring at him like he was insane, "…I was so scared to be attacked, but so happy to be recognized that I felt my heart do a triple flip, even if I have no heart and I'm just bones…Yohohohohoho…SKULL JOKE!"

Luffy jumped up from the floor, clapping his hand and laughing foolishly, "SKULL JOKE!" he kept on laughing.

Ignoring Luffy's pathetic ranting, Sabo cocked a brow at the legend, "So, how did you happen to get inside this sold out concert if your story is so true?"

The skeleton fell on his knees in shame, "Okay, I might have over exaggerated the story a bit. The truth is that my friend's superstar nephew is coming to town and the only way for me to see him is to stay with you for these few days."

"That lie makes even less sense than the last one." Ace said, staring at the hopeless legend.

"Fine, I'm lonely." The skeleton confessed, causing the two older boys to face-palm themselves.

"If that's it then you can stay with us. It is no problem at all" Luffy grinned, finally standing on his two feet again.

Ace was about to knock Luffy's head and scream something along the lines of, _Stop deciding things on your own_, but Sabo surprisingly stopped him, waving him off and Ace looked at him, confused.

"He's a legend after all…" Sabo started, "…we could really use his expertise".

Ace snorted, "Whatever you say, but I don't think I have anything to learn from him."

Sabo wondered why Ace suddenly turned cold, but simply brushed it off. Turning back to the skeleton, Sabo smiled, "Let's go Brook-sama."

"Hey!" Luffy cheered dragging the legendary skeleton along with him. "Brook-Ossan is living with us from now on!" He sang, earning him two pairs of eyes rolling.

"Yohohohohoho! Really?" The skeleton smiled happily.

"Like hell!" Sabo and Ace chorused.

SOME MINUTES LATER

"Yohohohohoho!" The skeleton laughed as he stepped into an apartment, "So this is my new home?"

"Shishishishi…" Luffy laughed along with him, "You can stay for as long as you like".

"We should have killed him when we had the chance." Sabo said to Ace who was wearing the same expression as he was.

"Tonight?" Ace asked Sabo, both of them wearing a smug look, which was ruined as their heads were whacked together by an orange-haired woman with razor sharp teeth.

"Stop thinking about ways to kill your brother." She wiped her hands together, zooming towards the legend.

"So do you have an upcoming artist who would make me more money?"

"Her eyes turned to Bellies again." Luffy whispered softly to himself before smiling, "Nami, he's living with us now."

Nami smiled, "Of course he-huh?" She blinked at Luffy then back at Brook and the grins plastered on their faces told her that Luffy wasn't kidding. "You idiot!" Nami knocked his head; "You don't decide things on your own! In fact, you don't decide anything at all!"

"I'm thowwy." Luffy managed to speak as he lay helplessly on the floor.

Nami ignored him turning to face the legends, "And you…" she started devilishly, "…you don't get to show up everywhere and do what you like, cause you're a legend." She rose up her hand to strike him.

"No!" Brook screamed, "It's nothing like that. I just really want to see my friend's superstar nephew and I'm really lonely". He explained.

Nami's eyes brightened up, "Did you say superstar?" she shimmied from left to right in one spot.

"Wait, he's real?" Ace and Sabo both sprang up from the floor.

Brook took in a deep breath of relief, "I was really scared that the lovely harsh lady was going to kill me that I felt all the blood drain from my face, although as I am just bones I have no blood…. Yohohohohoho."

Luffy rubbed his head, standing up, "who's this nephew of yours?" he asked.

The skeleton adjusted his bow tie and Afro before speaking, "Friend's nephew" he corrected then continued, "His name is Roronoa Zoro and he is a worldwide rugby superstar."

"An American football superstar? Cooool" Luffy's eyes sparkled.

Nami finished her dance number then held onto the legend smiling, "Does he need a manager?"

"Oi!" The three boys chorused, attacking the heartless manager.


	4. The nephews rival!

**A/N: Don't know why, but I felt like writing an author's note just to acknowledge my crazier-than-normal friends for infecting my head with crazy ideas. **

"Roronoa Zoro?" Sabo thought to himself before looking back at the skeleton. "I've heard that name somewhere."

Ace stared at his brother, dumbfounded, "How can you say that so calmly?" He asked his confused blonde brother.

"What?" Sabo asked.

"Don't say that in public, Sabo!" Ace frowned at him. "That man is a living rugby legend." He explained.

Sabo snorted, "So that's how I know of that name."

Ace gave a hard dark look at his soon-to-be-dead brother, "Why do you say it like that?"

Sabo smirked at Ace, "because rugby is an embarrassment to football." His smirk widened when he saw the anger pooling in Ace's face, "What is the point of calling it American 'football' when the players are allowed to run around the field holding the ball? It's not called basketball or handball for a reason?"

Ace grunted, "That does it!" He decked an unsuspecting Sabo on the ground before the boys started fighting heavily on the ground.

Nami rolled her eyes, "Now that that's over…" she turned to a smiling Luffy and an unnecessarily cheerful skeleton "…when is your friend's nephew coming to town?" she asked Brook.

Brook smiled widely at the orange-haired woman, "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Ace struggled to ask before getting pulled down again by Sabo.

Nami cocked a brow at the smiling legend and a super-impressed Luffy who seemed to be having some kind of mind communication. She sighed, shaking her head again; she waved at Brook "make yourself comfortable."

Brook gasped, "Yohohohohoho!" He sang, twirling around the room, "Really? Me? Dead bone Brook?"

Nami gave a half smile, turning around, "If you need anything, I will be in my dressing room."

"Yes, about that." Ace and Sabo paused their epic battle to stare at the heartless manager.

Nami frowned lightly, walking away, " quit your whining. There's no where else to store all my money…"

"She doesn't even hide it." Ace and Sabo chorused.

"…Besides, I pushed Luffy out, not you two. Just share a room with him." She said as left the room.

Ace and Sabo finally ended their fight, getting up and rearranging their clothes.

"Luffy?" Sabo looked at the smiling boy, "why have you been so quiet?"

"The legend-Ossan said that there will be a showdown tomorrow." Luffy's smile gotten even wider.

Sabo cocked a brow, "what showdown?"

"Something that has to do with Roronoa Zoro and his ex-manager turned football-superstar." Luffy surprisingly explained.

Sabo snorted, "Nobody is worthy of that title 'football superstar' if they cannot surpass the one and only 'Black-leg Sanji."

Luffy's eyes had automatic stars as he stared at the legend, "Is it Black-leg Sanji, Brook-Ossan?"

Brook thought for a second, "It actually is. Besides, I need a private room to rest my bones. Yohohohohoho!"

"It is!" Sabo and Luffy almost jumped out of their skin.

"And stop going straight to point." Ace knocked the skeleton's skull, "we have to share rooms, you know?"

Luffy sat down, folding his legs together, "So, Roronoa Zoro and Black-leg Sanji are both coming to this town tomorrow and are going to fight to the death."

"Um…" Brook started, "That's not what is going to-"

"He's way too impressed for a death-fight." Ace stared at his drooling younger brother, looking at Sabo for support, but saw his eyes sparkling as well.

"That's not what's going to-"

Brook was once more interrupted by the older raven-haired. "Yeah Sanji is awesome and all, but Roronoa Zoro would deck him any day."

"Huh?" Sabo glared at his brother, "The fuck did you just say?" He frowned at his brother who raised a questioning brow at him.

"That's not what's-" A loud crash interrupted the skeleton's speech and he sighed deeply, "Luffy-san?" He called the youngest raven-haired.

"Huh?" He turned to face Brook.

"Can you show me to my private room?"

"Sure." Luffy said, leading him towards the hallway.

…

"Huh?" Ace raised a brow at the sleeping bone-man on his bed. "Luffy!" He screamed startling the skeleton, but the idiot legend didn't wake up.

Ace frowned and pulled the sleeping man to the floor, face-palming himself when the sleeping man didn't budge. He dragged him along the hallway, pulling him by his leg. Getting to the small dark living room, he saw a figure also pulling someone on the floor. He ignored the figure, dumping Brook beside the couch. Meanwhile, the figure quickly but gently dumped the other figure he had been carrying on the couch. Ace and the figure exchanged knowing looks and silently walked to their separate rooms.

**A/N: REVIEWS?**


	5. The interview

**A/N: Since I decided to be lazy and not post anything yesterday, I chose to write a longer chapter to make up for it. :P **

"Ace! Sabo!" Nami yelled from the living room. "Boys!" She screamed louder as she received no reply. Behind her were a very hyperactive Luffy and a laughing Brook.

"Why are you so happy, Luffy?" Nami smiled.

"Today is the showdown!" Luffy exclaimed while Brook laughed excitedly running around the room.

"What showdown?" Nami asked, her hand on her waist.

"The fight between Roronoa Zoro and Black-leg Sanji." Luffy explained.

"Huh?" Nami's eyes widened. "An actual fight between two actual superstars." She started dancing again.

"Why did her eyes turn to bellies this time?" Sabo asked, walking into the room with Ace by his side.

"I'm not sure". Luffy said, scratching the back of his head.

Nami sighed, face-palming herself, "Idiots, idiots, idiots." She mumbled to herself before smiling at them, putting her hand on her waist again, "What would you guys do without me?"

"Huh?" the three boys stared questioningly at the orange-haired manager.

She sighed in defeat; "This is a golden opportunity for you to make yourself known and for me to finally have 500 million bellies in my account". She danced before glaring at the three boys, "don't ruin this for me."

Sabo cocked a brow, "care to elaborate?"

"Ah I see!" Luffy jumped, "you basically want to use for us for your own benefits again."

"Ow!" Luffy held the three bumps on his head, "why did you hit me?"

"What do you take me for?" Nami screamed at him, giving him a demonic glare.

"That part was already obvious!" Ace said to a wide-eyed Luffy.

"I just don't appreciate your comments." Sabo finally said calmly to Luffy.

Nami took in a deep breath, smiling at the boys, "all I need you three to do is show up in the fight scene."

Brook cocked a brow, "It's not going to be a-"

"Why should we be in the fight?" Ace asked Nami, cutting Brook off.

"Cause it would make me more money and it would increase your popularity." She answered.

"That's stupid." Sabo simply said.

"What's stupid?" Nami asked.

"Why should we get in the middle of a fight to make you more money?" Ace asked.

"And how the hell would that even make you money?" Ace asked the frowning manager.

"Well…" Luffy started, "if there is going to be a fight between Roronoa Zoro and Black-leg Sanji, reporters are going to show up. That means, if we show up and are seen by the paparazzi, the press would want to know how we are connected to the two superstars and the fact the legend-Ossan would be with us and he knows the both of them gives us more of an advantage…" He paused, wondering why his two brothers and his managers were staring at him in shock and utter disbelief before continuing, "…this means that, a whole lot of interviewers and the press would be on our advantage, which would boost our popularity and it would also give us the chance to make most of our songs known to the public."

The blank look of everyone's face made him laugh, "Shishishishi…" he laughed, "…you guys didn't think I was that smart, huh?"

Ace and Sabo opened their mouths to say something, but words couldn't come out, so they let it go. Nami just shook her head, trying to forget the fact that Luffy could understand her so much for a non-existent reason.

"Anyway…" Nami decided to continue, "I think Luffy made it clear enough. That's the plan."

Ace cocked a brow, "so the plan is to use their popularity to enhance ours."

"Pretty much." Sabo agreed.

"Sounds like a plan." Ace smiled, turning to face the skeleton, "So Brook-sama, where is this fight taking place?"

Brook sighed in defeat as he gave up trying to explain that it wasn't a fight, "Smoker's press." He answered.

"Smoker's press?" Luffy cocked his head.

"Isn't that the place were that annoying reporter nearly ruined our careers?" Sabo asked himself, mostly.

"Tashigi?" Ace asked.

"Oh, that woman." Nami said gravely, "that good for nothing cold hearted bitch nearly tore the whole point of my existence apart."

"It was never that deep." Ace and Sabo chorused.

"Easy for you to say…" Nami attacked the two boys; "…you're not the ones who have to strive everyday to make sure this band makes it to the top."

"Actually we are!" Luffy interjected confidently.

"No we're not." They both pushed Luffy's head aside.

"Is there anything I say that you ever agree with?" Luffy called out to them, feeling tense at his brothers' cold treatment.

"No, there isn't." They both answered.

"Why's that?"

"Cause you're Luffy." Sabo answered.

"Wait." Ace touched Sabo's shoulder, "he's actually right this time." His eyes widened.

Sabo mirrored Ace's expression, "he is?" Sabo asked and Ace slowly nodded. Sabo gasped, "Shit. He actually is."

"Oi Nami!" Ace called, turning to face the uninterested manager who was busy conversing with Brook.

"We are actually the ones who strive everyday to make sure this band makes it to the top." Sabo explained to the manager who turned to glare at them.

"So?" she asked, cocking a brow.

"So…we deserve credit sometimes. All you do is hog all our money to yourself and some strange reason Luffy made us understand that." Ace argued.

"So?" She asked again.

The three boys sighed in defeat, "We give up." They chorused.

"That's better." She smiled to herself. "Now, let's go to Smoker's press and make more money."

"Yeah!" Luffy and Brook chorused.

Nami smacked brook's skull, "No one gives a shit about you."

"Yohohohohoho!" He cried, walking out of the house, followed by the two depressed older brothers.

…

"Hello everyone and welcome to another session of Smoker's press 'Tashigi's House'." The long nosed host appeared on stage and the crowd went crazy.

The host cleared his throat dramatically before speaking up, "Who's the best?"

"Usopp!" The crowd screamed back.

"Who's always on fire?"

"Usopp-Sama!" The crowd cheered on.

"Better than the best?" He questioned one more time.

"Usopp the great!"

"Yes. Yes." He nodded, smiling to himself. "I'm sure you all know why I'm always the one they run to when they need someone epically charismatic and awesome to take up the stage and be the show's host. For those of you who don't, although I doubt that there are still people like that still existing, the reason is because I am known worldwide as 'Usopp the great', 'Usopp the star', 'Usopp the stage-god' and last but definitely not the least, 'Usopp the bringer of light and laughter'".

The crowd cheered even louder than before and his smile got bigger, "Now, enough of me…for now. Today is a day that only a man like me can anchor, because of my skill and charisma. A worldwide rugby superstar and his ex-manager turned football superstar who are clearly rivals are present in this building."

Usopp paused to absorb the cheers of the crowd. "These two are going to be first of all interviewed by our one and only reporter of the year who has come to be known by many names, 'aspiring-rugby superstar Tashigi', 'Ice-cold Tashigi' and last but definitely the harshest, 'Venom-breathing-bitch Tashigi'".

The crowd cheered louder while Tashigi slapped her forehead behind the curtain, 'I'm pretty sure he made that one up.' She thought to herself.

"After this interview, the two superstars are going to have a showdown in Tashigi's one and only celebrity rival game 'The power of Haki'. I'm sure we're all excited and can't wait for the big showdown."

The crowd went wild and there were loud whistles and screams of excitement all around the hall.

"Now, introducing the cold-bitch herself, Tashigi!" The crowd screamed as the curtain went up to reveal a slim woman in a cooperate outfit.

"Tashigi!" The crowd screamed, "We love you Tashigi! Keep it up!"

She smiled and winked at them.

"And now, introducing our celebrity rivals to the stage, the one and only creator of the winning shot '160-pound cannon' 'Roronoa Zoro!'…" He paused for the audience to finish their cheering, which didn't seem to end, so he continued anyway, "…and the master of the 'diable jamble' kick 'Black-leg Sanji'!"

The screaming got out of control when the green-haired rugby superstar and the blonde football superstar got up on stage. They were both waving at the stage, although the football star decided to wink, blow kisses and smile excessively at the ladies.

The host left the stage as the two men found their seats, both facing the interviewer.

Tashigi smiled at the two men, "So you two once worked together I presume?"

Zoro snorted, "Way to start my boredom."

"Shitty memories." Sanji said to himself, taking a puff of his cigarette and intentionally blowing it in Zoro's direction, which the green-haired chose to ignore.

"So…" Tashigi continued, "Who was the manger?"

"Unfortunately me." Sanji said, looking bored.

Zoro glared at him from the corner of his eye, also choosing to ignore the remark.

"So how did that work out for you, Sanji?" She asked.

"Pretty shitty, I guess." He blew out smoke again in Zoro's direction, "I could say that the marimo idiot was a completely lost cause in the eyes of the world."  
"What was that?" Zoro now fully glared at him.

"Oh dear." Tashigi rested her face in her palm as she could see the death-look the two men were giving themselves.


	6. Who is Zoro's uncle?

**A/N: SORRY FOR THE WAIT. GOMEN**. ^_^

Tashigi cleared her throat, waiting for the two men to finish their death-glares. When she noticed that they wouldn't budge, she continued her questions.

"So, Zoro…" she finally got his attention, "…what was the cause of your separation?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Zoro raised a brow at the interviewer.

Tashigi sighed, "Well, your career was at its peak when Sanji was your manager, wasn't it?"

"Exactly…" Sanji quickly interjected, leaving a pissed Zoro, "…but muscle-heads like him don't understand what it means to be successful, so the only choice was to make it on my own and let him troll behind."

Tashigi cocked a brow at the smiling blonde, "When the news of you abandoning Roronoa Zoro was everywhere, people thought you'd go manage someone else, not for some reason starting a very different career that clearly opposes his."

Sanji took in a short drag of cigarette, "Well that's true, that kind of surprised most people."

"What did you think about this, Roronoa Zoro?" Tashigi asked.

"Well, I-"

"Of course he thought I was going to be completion, but little did he know that he wouldn't be able to hold a candle next-"

"Would you let me answer my questions, you mellorine-bastard!" Zoro snapped at the frowning cook, who simply laid back into the chair taking a drag of cigarette.

"He's insecure." Sanji told a confused Tashigi.

"Who are you calling insecure, you fake-ass Cook?" Zoro jumped up from his seat facing a red-faced Sanji.

"Wanna fight, Shitty Marimo?" Sanji's hands twitched.

"Bring it on."

"And we could save that for the 'Power of Haki'." Tashigi stood in the middle of the angry men.

"YEAH!" The door to the hall was literally burst open.

"Huh?" The two men, Tashigi and the crowd wondered aloud in unison as a skinny raven boy and an overexcited skeleton crashed into the building.

"We made it just in time!" Luffy screamed running to the two men, pushing Tashigi aside.

"Yohohohohoho!" Brook laughed aloud, twirling around the place. "Guess we did!"

"Brook?" Zoro and Sanji cocked their heads questioningly.

Tashigi's mouth hung open, mirroring the crowd's expression, "Brook-Sama?"

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Luffy chanted before being knocked by Tashigi.

"You just rudely interrupted my show." Tashigi stared at all of them, her hand on her waist.

Ace looked at Sabo, keeping a straight face, "So we're too early for the fight?"

Sabo put his hand on his chin, "Maybe we're too late."

Behind them, Nami grunted and stepped forward, "Idiots." She mumbled, "Can't you see that we were being foolish?"

"Huh?" Luffy and Ace cocked their heads, confused.

Sabo face-palmed himself, moving closer to Brook, "Why didn't you tell us that this was simply an interview?"

"But that's what he said." Luffy said, unfortunately moving close to the two angry boys and an outraged woman who all too happily smacked his head.

"If you knew, why didn't you tell us?" Nami yelled.

"I'm thowwy."

Tashigi turned around, "Huh?" She said, watching Zoro and Sanji conversing with the skeleton. She moved closer to them, "You both know Brook-Sama?"

Zoro nodded, "He's my uncle's friend."

Sanji nodded, "He's my ex-dog's uncle's friend."

"That does it." Zoro grunted, charging at the annoying blonde and the fight finally began.

Tashigi face-palmed herself, turning around she saw the three boys with stars in their eyes and a belli-eyed dancing manager.

"You guys are way too impressed." Tashigi said to the two boys, "And why are your eyes shaped like bellies?" She asked the orange-haired woman.

Nami kept dancing, "Because I'm gonna be rich."

Tashigi raised a brow at her but ignored her comment, "So, would you mind telling me how you're all connected to the football stars and Brook-Sama?"

"Bingo." Nami shrieked, jumping. "Just make that a proper interview and you'd have all the answers you want."

Tashigi looked at the fighting men, the star-eyed boys, the spinning legend and the belli-eyed woman before sighing, "What do you intend to gain from this interview?"

Nami smiled, "More money and fame."

Tashigi smirked at the dancing woman, "Deal." She strode back to the stage.

'For some reason that smirk looked almost evil. Hmm…what is she planning? After all, she almost ruined my career once.' Nami thought to herself while she danced with her belli eyes.

Tashigi sat on her seat; quietly watching the scene, because there was nothing she could do to stop them, also the crowd seemed to enjoy the chaos and commotion.

…

Luffy happily jumped into the apartment, followed by a bored green-haired and a mellorine-dancing blonde who had been sniffing Nami ever since they left Smoker's Press. The smiling skeleton walked beside two star-eyed boys.

They all sat down on the cushions. "So, Zoro…" Brook started, "…your uncle told me to pass you a message."

Zoro snorted, "So, he's still alive?"

Sanji rolled his eyes at the Marimo, "Still more successful than you though." He said, earning him a glare from the man.

Brook laughed, "It's just a simple message though."

"And that is?" Zoro asked.

Brook cleared his throat dramatically, "until you surpass me, you would never be the world's greatest."

Zoro's eyes widened in annoyance, "So he's still at that."

Sanji chuckled to himself, sighing in joy, "When I made it clear that you would never make it, you thought I was just being me."

"Who's your uncle Zoro?" Luffy asked.

"A rugby player even bigger than you?" Sabo asked, turning to Ace. He raised a brow at Ace's shocked face.

"It can't be." Ace murmured.

"What?" Luffy and Nami asked.

"Could it be that your uncle is the great 'Hawk-eyes Dracule Mihawk'?" Ace asked.

"So?" Zoro asked, clearly annoyed by the topic of discussion.

"It is!" Luffy cheered.

"Ah…" Nami smiled, "More important topics to talk about in the interview that once again seems to be a trap. Hmm…"

"Nami…" Luffy whined, "Can we also crash his place so that him and Zoro would fight?"

Everyone opened their mouths to say something, hands were already in the air getting ready to smack his head, but at the last minute they grumbled incoherent words to themselves and walked away.

Luffy turned left to right, watching them scatter. "No?" he asked, "So we're not?"


End file.
